When Words Don't Come Easy
When Words Don't Come Easy
Unlocking Life-Changing Confidence: Your Path to Hope and Well-Being
Do you ever find yourself questioning your worth or your path in life? This week, we're diving deep into the transformative power of confidence that comes from God. We'll explore how this divine gift can be your anchor in times of doubt and your guide to mental wellness. If you're ready for a life filled with hope and purpose, you won't want to miss this episode!
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Learn more at AndyHoward.com!
Hey, what's up everybody. I think this week is one of those topics that is very hard for me. Just being real and vulnerable with you, I'm going to just kind of unveil, pull the curtain back a little bit, unveil what it's like in the life of Andy Howard and share one of my biggest struggles, which is confidence and self-esteem. But we're going to try to learn about confidence and self-esteem from a Christian perspective. So stick around to the very end, because I have three tips to help you grow in your confidence and self-esteem, but also just some latest things that have happened in the last couple of weeks that really got me thinking and really got my attention, and I pray it will be a blessing to you and that it will help you. All that and more is happening right after this. What's up everybody. Welcome back to the when Words Don't Come Easy podcast. My name is Andy Howard and I am so glad you are here and today is a pretty special day for me.
Speaker 1:This is episode number 52. And for those of you scoring at home in UMath majors, 52 equals one year, one year's worth of podcasts. So I have been putting out a podcast every Tuesday for the last 52 weeks and so we have officially made it one year. I guess maybe that's actually next Tuesday I don't know how this works, I need to go do my homework but maybe next Tuesday is when we actually celebrate the one year anniversary of the podcast kicking off. But today is officially the 52nd podcast, which is a big deal for me. I don't know that I ever thought I would do a podcast ever. And then when I started I said we would see how this thing goes. And I don't know if I'm being 100% real with you If I thought I would make it to 52 episodes.
Speaker 1:But here we are, and the whole reason we are here is to give hope. It's what this podcast is about. It's a podcast for hope and there was a time in my life when, 10 years ago, that I don't know that I wanted to be here, just living in general, but that was kind of the end of my depression, the end of that era. And now I'm back, I'm better than ever, I'm stronger. Over the last 10 years I've been gaining and renewing my strength in Christ and my hope has been found in him.
Speaker 1:And this whole podcast is not from an expert. I don't claim to be someone who knows it all by any means. I am just a dude who is in the trenches with those others who may be suffering from depression or anxiety, fear, fear, whatever it is After 2020,. I know that all these different things, all these different labels are at all time high, and so that's what I wanted to do with the podcast. That's what the whole book's for. In fact, the book, the whole reason I wrote the book and how that came about even was just you and I, sitting across from each other and me telling my story, and that's how I wrote it. I wrote it from that point of view. If you read it, I hope that you will, I guess, appreciate that that it's like us sitting down at a coffee shop and having a conversation, and it's my whole story, my whole story. It's the good, it's the bad, it's the ugly, it's all of it, and so that's what I wanted to do there, and I want to do the same here. I wanted to try to create the same with the podcast.
Speaker 1:If this podcast would be a podcast about hope, it would be a place you could turn to to find out more if you're dealing with depression or anxiety or struggling with fear or anything like that. Maybe it's just a second for you to get away and unplug from the chaos of the world. Hey, that's what we're here for. So hope you're enjoying it. I hope you've had as much fun in this first year as I have. It's been, it's been amazing, it's been absolutely amazing and I am so, just I'm proud, proud to be here, proud to have made it a year. So thank you, guys, for all of you who send in texts and compliments along the way. They're so encouraging and they help me keep going and I appreciate you, I appreciate you taking the time to send a text or a voice note or a voice mail, any of it. It really helps me keep going and hopefully I am making a difference in one life at a time.
Speaker 1:But today, man, there's so many probably going to go down several rabbit trails here. I got so much in my heart right now, but I wanted to talk about confidence. Confidence because I was thinking about that, like why I struggled so much to write the book, why I struggled so much to even try the podcast, even in, so much of it comes back to confidence and for me and there's a fine line with this right, but for me I admire, I admire confidence and boldness. So much Like. And please hear me out, hear me out. I am happily married to my beautiful wife, tiffany. For those who know her, you know she's gorgeous. So I'm very secure in my manhood to say this.
Speaker 1:But, like when looking at other dudes, like traits that I admire or attracted to let me just put it that way traits that I look up to and admire, to it's confidence, somewhere along the way I lost that. I used to be very confident. I don't know if it was a Samson thing or could I use for those who know me recently, for the last 20 plus years of my life you've known I haven't had any hair. But back in the day, gosh, when I graduated high school and I was in a band, I had, like long hair. I joke around and say I do say this a lot that I was a bad steward of my hair. So God took it away, because I'm sure there's some bad pictures to have to go with that funky haircut that I used to have, or lack of haircut, maybe that is. But confidence for me is something I admire and it's because I'm missing it, man, I'm telling you, even when I do a podcast, you would not believe in those who look at me and you see me as this confident person. Thank you. But you have no idea. Most of the times I come in here kicking and screaming before I do a podcast episode or before I recorded my book, even I had to go out to a studio and I was scared to death. There's three people there. My best buddy was with me and some dude in you know running the board behind the glass. I didn't even know him, but I was scared to death. It's just so many, so many things. So confidence. For some reason I used to be extremely confident.
Speaker 1:I remember. Take you on a little journey down memory lane. I remember so well playing little league baseball. Some of my best buddies in the world. Brad, if you're listening to this episode, I know a lot of you are not on friends of mine on Facebook anymore. Instagram, brad, james, james B. We had a James B and a James T, but James B, james. Burl Smith just threw your whole name out there so people can look you up. We grew up playing ball together. Man. Baseball was so fun, especially little league. Like there's no pressure, it's fine man, and there's no like all the pressures, the real life stuff you have to deal with when you become an adult. When you're a kid, you're just playing ball, having fun, and I remember, though, the pressure of like in a baseball game.
Speaker 1:I wanted it Like if we were losing in the bottom of the ninth. I don't even know how many innings you play in the little league, but just coming to the end of the game, I was hoping I would be batting. Like, let me bat. I wanted, I knew I would come through, I knew I could do it because I had confidence in it. And same same at the field, like so many people are like praying the ball doesn't come to them. I wanted the ball to come to me because I knew I could do it. I knew we will win.
Speaker 1:If he hits the ball to me and I, for those of you who know me, I love to win. Winning is important, winning matters. So don't come to me and say, hi, winning doesn't matter. If winning doesn't matter, then why did First National Bank buy us that scoreboard? That's all I'm going to say. I remember a coach told me that one time, way long time ago, and, yes, he was right. Winning matters, man. So I wanted it. I want to win. Hit me the ball. I didn't know. That's the only thing I could control. I can control what I can do. I couldn't control what happens if they hit it to little Johnny Whoever I don't think we had a little Johnny, that's why I said that. But I could control what happens if they hit it to me. Then the same thing would happen when gosh I guess it was the hair man when.
Speaker 1:So I graduated high school and I was in a band a couple of years, played with some of the greatest musicians. Even to this day I would tell you they were some of the most phenomenal musicians ever. Mo, my brother, mo Daniel Boatwright, if you're listening, man dude, still to this day one of the best musicians I've ever played with phenomenal, played everything, everything with one hand, by the way, and that's just a side note that don't even matter but literally has one hand and he killed it. He killed every instrument. And then a dude named Chris Roberts man, phenomenal, phenomenal guy Played guitar like behind his back and over his head, just like Stevie Ray. Dude was absolutely amazing.
Speaker 1:But when I was with these dudes I was so confident and one of the coolest things we'd be playing a club, we'd be playing somewhere, and you're just going through all the mic checks and all the things getting set up and getting everything in order, and there's, you know, people just randomly talking and there's a loud like roar in the crowd because they're all just chatting with each other. No one knows what's going on. But then when they go to do the sound check on the drums and that's what I played drums Since I was nine years old, I've always played drums that's another thing, another reason I was so confident because it's what I grew up doing. But they would start with that. They'd say give me the kick. You know your bass drum. And you just, and all of a sudden there would be a hug, there would be a hush, come over the audience because it's like oh, it's starting and I loved it. Man, I wanted every eye on me. I know those who know me now wouldn't believe that, but I wanted the attention, I loved it. And then they'd go, you know, give me the floor time. And I'd start playing the floor time. And then, after he was ready and he'd gotten everything where he wanted it Mike, check wise he would say just go ahead and play the whole set. And for just 30 seconds I got to just, you know, rip up my my drums, man, and for 30 seconds everybody was watching me and I loved every minute of it.
Speaker 1:It was just a very special day and I thought about what in the world happened. What in the world happened along the way? Something happened and and I don't know if it's when we got Peyton's diagnosis Maybe I lost uh, took my eyes off my where my hope comes from. Maybe it's the three hundred forty five pounds when I, when I gained my weight and it got up to three hundred and forty five pounds and it was so unhealthy and I avoided every mirror in the world Because I didn't, like you saw and I lost confidence.
Speaker 1:So why is confidence so important? Why is it so? Why am I so attracted to it? Usually, I think you're attracted to your polar opposite. That's what I found in marriages and couples. That's what I found in like some of the traits that I admire, but but confidence is one of those things that I absolutely admire. I just those that have it. I love it.
Speaker 1:Like my wife Is a baller. Like she's a very big deal in the business world. She speaks to huge crowds. She's spoke to the sold out arenas, like these conferences at State Farm Arena in In Atlanta. Anyway, she's just and she uses with confidence and I absolutely admire her that she doesn't care what people think you take her or leave her. She throws it out there with such confidence and I watch her do that. I'm like man, that's what I want to do Take me or leave me. I want to throw it out there and for some reason I lack confidence. So I was going to talk a little bit about that today and hopefully we can. Maybe there's just one more person out there that's like me. You'd be so bold to admit it and say any dude Confidence is hard for me to. I want to help you with that today. I feel like I have some tips, some answers that will help stare you in the right direction. But even as we record this episode, at the recording of this, Dion Sanders If you don't know who he is, obviously you don't know who I am because I'm a sports nut and football season officially just started this past weekend and Dion Sanders is back in division one, college football. He's got the new gig. He came over from Jackson state and he's got the new gig as the head coach of the Colorado Buffalo's.
Speaker 1:Came in as a three touchdown underdog, which I already thought was nuts. I didn't know that they would win. Going to TCU I didn't. I wasn't going to go that far. But when I saw they were down by three TDs I thought something's not adding up here because Dion's going to have his boys ready.
Speaker 1:That dude is confidence Like. If you look up Dion Sanders or you look up confidence in the dictionary, you're going to see a picture of Dion Sanders. Or if you look up Dion Sanders, you can see the word confidence. That's just it. That dude oozes with confidence and I absolutely love it and I get it. I get it. We. We love to build up people. And then there's the same ones. As soon as they get to a certain level, we love to see them crash and burn. So I know I lost at least half the audience here.
Speaker 1:Like, some of you, like cannot stand confident people and there's a difference. I want you to hear that. The cocky people there's a difference. Okay, confidence and cocky Two totally different things, ergon, cocky not fun. Not fun to be around, no one likes to be around them. But confident people, everybody wants to be around them because they just exude confidence. That's what they do and people are like man I want to hang out with that dude. And if you want to be more confident in your life you know what you have to do you have to find people who are confident and hang out with them. That's one of the things. Hang out with people that have the gifts that you want. And there's definitely a difference.
Speaker 1:And the reason why I think it's so important is because I believe with all my heart that every single one of you were created with a purpose I am pausing for effect here. Every single one of you were created with a purpose, with a mission, with a reason why you're here on this earth. God birthed that dream inside of you, created you with a purpose, and you will not get there without confidence. See, I believe with all my heart John 10, 10 that the devil, the enemy, comes to still kill and destroy. So what's that mean exactly? Like for me? I told you I used to be very confident.
Speaker 1:I, I I don't know I came from. I guess I was a big fish in a small pond, like at my church. I was the dude, my dad was the pastor and I grew up in I think I had three different brothers at one point where my different youth pastors throughout my childhood and so I had a connection with my youth pastor, like, like that cause, we're, we're brothers, and then I was just the natural leader of that group. I mean, that was my, that was my youth group, that was my group. So you wanted to come to my group, you had to come through me. That sounds very confident, right? That's just how I was.
Speaker 1:I was so confident, but somewhere along the way the enemy stole my confidence to the point where now, before I speak, before I do podcasts, I am scared to death. At the same time, I do want you to know God gives me strength, he helps me, and every time I'm done, man people will come up out the wazoo and say how good it was, how bless they were with it. So please hear my heart. God is still using me the whole time, but under the water, what you can't see under the surface, is I am scared to death. And I think there is there's there is some wisdom in that when you do something that's bigger than you, it helps you to lean on God more and helps you to trust in him more, and that's where our focus should be anyways. So please hear me. I'm not saying be confident in yourself, be so cocky in yourself and, oh, look at Andy Howard, look at what he does. That's not it at all. But come from a place of power and who your God is and who you were created to be, that he's got you. And if he has you, he wouldn't have called you to do something that you can't do. In fact, that calling it's stirring up inside you right now, even as I'm doing this podcast. You're getting nervous because you're like, oh man, that scares me. It scares me to take that jump. But you know, once you do it, it will be the best feeling of your life. And it's the truth.
Speaker 1:When I speak somewhere, when I do a podcast, tiff will tell you, ask her and I'll be getting interviewed by somebody. I don't know them and I get their credentials and it intimidates me and I'm like, oh my gosh, this person is such a big deal. Right, this person is such a big deal. Have you seen like their bio is so long? It's like an encyclopedia. For those who don't know what encyclopedias are, I digress. It's like this massive, long book of where they came from. And who am I? Who am I to be interviewed by this person? And I will tell Tiff this every single time and I'll be like I'm just going to cancel, I'm going to cancel, I'm going to call them, I'm going to text them. Something popped up Family emergency. I can't do it. I will say it over and over and she's like no, you're not, no, you're not. Kiss me that. Look, you're going to do it. And then when I'm done whether it's speaking at a church, speaking at conferences, speaking for these podcasts, or when I'm doing somebody else's podcast I get off and I'm exhilarated Like my heart is just like feels, like heaven is. It's filled my heart because I am doing what I'm called to be doing. That's why confidence is so important to do what you were called to do.
Speaker 1:Wanted to talk about a Bray Wyatt and his real name. That was his. I guess you'd call it character, his wrestling wrestling name, his ring name was Bray Wyatt. But I'll be honest, I did not know a whole lot about the young man until he died and I hate, I hate that. It happens a lot when someone passes away. I will, I will. I'm just curious. I want to know more about them and I want to see, like, what their last post was and what were they thinking before they passed and do they have family, do they have kids, all the things? And his name, I'm sorry, his official name, his real name is Wyndham Rotunda, if I'm saying that, right, rotunda. He played Bray Wyatt from WWE.
Speaker 1:He's a wrestler and passed away recently of heart some kind of a heart condition and I'm not going to get into all that. I've seen, believe it or not. There was already tons of rumors of how it could have happened. It's very controversial. There's and I don't want to spend this time in controversy so I'm not even going to go there but way too young. Bottom line is he was way too young to pass away. Thank you, he was 34, maybe 36. I don't know. I don't remember, but I don't matter. What matters is, every time someone like that, a celebrity, someone popular, like, scrolls across my news feed or TV or sports center or something, it grabs my heart. And I'm not saying in place here, because I know I'm going to get a hundred of these emails as well. Oh, you know, people die every day. I get it and that's what I'm talking about. This is for the people who die every single day. Not making more to do about a celebrity. My heart breaks for him and his family Bottom line is you are not promised tomorrow.
Speaker 1:I'm not trying to end this thing on a dark note. It was supposed to be a happy. It's the. This is a 52nd episode. Why aren't you happy, howard? Happy Howard, that's my new nickname. Why aren't you happy? Well, we don't have tomorrow promised. So what are you called to do today If they were to look at your life and let's just get really morbid for a second.
Speaker 1:But this one comes. This episode comes out on Tuesday. So let me look into my calendar to know exactly what date. That would be Tuesday, september the 12th. Here we are, so I'm hoping you're listening to this on September 12th, like you've already clicked subscribe and you got the notification and it's Tuesday and you're driving to the gym or whatever you're doing with your day and you're listening to your boy and I thank you for that. Thank you for that five star rating as well. Free plug if you would. That would help more people find this podcast about hope.
Speaker 1:But pause for a second. October 12th. What's the very last? What's the very last post you made on Facebook, instagram? Was it something silly? Was it a cat video? Nothing wrong with cat videos. I love them too. Dog videos something silly. Some dude crashes golf cart. I don't know. Was it a dad joke? I love dad jokes. He poured your heart out, like with a vulnerable pose of inspiration or hope, I don't know. But my question is it's like September 12th. You were gone.
Speaker 1:How will your family remember you? I want that to sink in. How are your friends closest to you Remember you? How are those who you worked with, your neighbors? Well, they remember the grumpy dude kicking the trash can because he had a bad day. I don't know, I just kind of came to mind. Like you're oiling the trash can to the curve and you just get so mad you kick it. I don't know, it's stupid. Well, they remember you as a dude that cuts someone off in traffic. Or they cut you off and so you lay on the horn. You're just so mad, you're furious. How would they remember you? Well, they come to your funeral and have to lie to your family and make up something, be like ah, that Andy Howard was so outgoing. I love that about him. I'm still working on you guys.
Speaker 1:I want to be real. I want to be 100% real. I want people to know me as authentic, as vulnerable, as a person of hope, as a advocate for mental depression, as an advocate for those who are dealing with anxiety, as an advocate for those who are living in fear. Dude, I'm done with it and all the things. Whatever it is that the enemy may have taken from you. Maybe it's not confidence, maybe confidence is the least of your concern, but whatever it is, man, whatever's been stolen from you, it's time to kick the door down. Take it back. For me, it's confidence. So my goal is to keep going for another year's worth of episodes. Let's just do it. Let's be confident, to speak at more conferences this year, to speak at even more churches this year. Who knows, maybe even write another put this year. But I want to do more, because I believe each and every one of us are called to more.
Speaker 1:So, as far as tips on how to build your confidence, the first thing I would do is explore biblical passages that affirm your identity in Christ, and the first one I wanted to read is taken straight from 1 Peter, 2, 9. And this is the message version, and I love the message version. It's just so simple, so easy to read. So, again, if it's not your favorite version, feel free to go look it up in your favorite version. But for simplicity here I'm going to read this. And it says but you are the ones chosen. So who are you? Right, you're the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, god's instruments to do his work and to speak out for him to tell others of the night and day difference he made in you from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted. That's who you are. You might need to rewind that again to listen and see who you are.
Speaker 1:There's another one that I thought was just an amazing portion of scripture. It's only three more verses, but it's Ephesians 2, 7, 3, 10. Again from the message says Now God, now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his ideal in all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish. We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we did the whole thing. No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and the saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work. He has gotten us ready to do work we had better be doing. I love that portion. So, again, explore those two passages that affirm who we are. Who are we in Christ? That's what matters. That's how you build your confidence.
Speaker 1:The second thing I would encourage you to do is renew your mind with God's truth. Our minds can be filled with such negative and self doubt. However, as Christians, we have access to God's truth that can renew our minds and transform our way of thinking. Let's explore what the renewing of our minds with God's truth looks like and how it can boost our confidence and our self esteem. I got to tell you how important it is to replace the lies, the negative self talk, the beating yourself up. You got to replace that with truth that only comes from God and for me and you might not even be aware how often you do it it's good to be surrounded by good people in your life that are going the same direction you want to go, that are pursuing the things you want to pursue. Like, I always encourage you to be around five people that are better than you. I mean that you're less than you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:But if you're trying to get better at something you want to be like if I was to be a better golfer which would take a miracle I would surround myself for those kind of people so I could learn from them, so I could find out what they're doing right. How do I get better? Oh, he does this or she does that. I could learn from them. It's the same thing. So my wife, who is one that I admire, not just for being my best friend, not just for being this amazing leader and a business leader and a Christian and all the things and confident I already told you that, right, but she says she would never let anyone talk to me the way I talk to myself. Wow, that hits home, right, Like. So, if some stranger came up to you and talked to you the way you talked to yourself, would you let that go? You would. I have a feeling something would rise up in you, right? So why do we do that? Why do we beat ourselves up? Let's replace the negative self-talk with encouragement.
Speaker 1:Jump into the Word of God. See, the enemy is the father of lies. So all the negative stuff coming from the enemy himself, from the devil. Replace that with truths. Jump into the Psalms Such a great, great reminder of where we should focus and who our hope belongs to. Another way to find confidence, or build your confidence. Number three is focus on the promises of God. Focus on finding strength in God's promises. Focus on finding strength in God's promises. God's promises provide us with strength to face any challenges that may come our way, with hope and with confidence that we need that all comes from His Word, that all comes from His promises. God's promises can bolster our self-esteem and our confidence.
Speaker 1:A couple of my favorite scriptures, a couple of His promises that we need to remember. And if you've ever been in church or even around a Christian bookstore or anywhere Christian art is even so you've probably seen this scripture, but I absolutely love it. Jeremiah 29, 11 says I know the plans I have for you. Declare the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. That's His promise.
Speaker 1:God can't lie, right? The enemy is the father of lies. God can't lie. It's who he is. He is truth. So he can't even lie if he wanted to which he doesn't want to because he's God. He's truth. But he can't lie. So that's who he is. So he has plans for you Understand on those promises, plans to give you hope and a future. And the other one, of course, philippians 4, 13,. I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. That's incredible.
Speaker 1:So God's promises, his word, is there for us to lean on, so to booster our confidence, and this is something I am growing in. My confidence gets better each time I do something scared. I can't tell you that I was perfect. If you go all the way back to the first episode a year ago, today, I cannot tell you I was perfect, but I do feel like I'm in a long way still not perfect today. Can I keep doing it scared? Can I keep trusting God? And my confidence is growing.
Speaker 1:So I hope this has helped in some way with your confidence, with a boost of your confidence of who you are. Just know that you're loved, that you're special, that you're important, that you were created with a purpose. And our time is not promised, tomorrow is not promised, so we have to do everything we can to follow God's will and I think one of the biggest, one of the biggest things you can do to help that is is growing your confidence. So, anyways, hope this has been a blessing to you. See you next week. Hey, I hope that blessed you. I hope that helped you.
Speaker 1:Just remember, your confidence comes from God. So, if anything else, connect to Him, lean on Him and he will help you. With anything you are facing, he will give you the answer. He will put people in your path to make you better at whatever you're praying for. So be careful what you're praying for, because he's going to do that. He'll take care of you. He's not going to leave you. He can't. That's not who he is, so He'll never leave you alone. He'll never forsake you. He'll be with you to the end. So, if anything, link up to Him. Link up to Him like you would hook up whatever you call those things on a train. Right, that's a little train. You know what? Oh man, totally derailed, but derailed literally. What are the little things that go on trains? I don't know, but you know what I'm talking about. Hook your wagon to God. Whatever that little portion of the train is, hook it up to God. Anyways, I hope this has been good for you. Thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 1:If you haven't got the book yet, it's called when Words Don't Come Easy and I dive into a lot more stories about myself that are just real and vulnerable, but they're meant to give you hope and meant to give you a way out through some of the mistakes and things I learned from. But a lot of it's about my story and my battle with depression. Some of its own confidence, like we mentioned today, some of its own marriage help, financial help, but all the ways throughout my journey where God has been so faithful. So if you are interested in that, please, you can get that at AndyHowardcom. I would love to come to your church. I will even send a book out and a press kit out to your pastor. Or, if you are a pastor, please message me with your address. I would love to come and share my testimony, my hope, and help the people who are struggling with depression. You can do all that more. That's at AndyHowardcom.
Speaker 1:If you want to listen to the book, you can get it from Audible. It's even on Kindle. So thank you, guys, so much Again. Subscribe to the podcast, share this one with somebody who you feel like it would be a blessing to, and I would love your five-star review. Thanks so much. God bless everybody. Thanks so much for tuning in. If this episode helped you in any way, it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review and share it with somebody else. Thanks so much. I'll catch you next time.