Have you ever considered the spaces we retreat to when the world becomes too much? Join me today as I discuss some of the hidden corners of our minds where we often stash away our mental health battles.
We will explore the masks we wear, the distractions we employ, and the ways we deny our struggles. Although we expose the dark reality of avoidance, denial, and substance abuse as desperate attempts to escape pain, it's not all doom and gloom. Alongside these harsh truths is a beacon of hope, a strategy to overcome. We'll walk through recognizing the red flags, seeking help, and the ultimate hiding place – where faith, resilience, and hope reside.
Follow on Instagram & Facebook: @AndyBHoward
Buy the book on Amazon: www.amazon.com/When-Words-Dont-Come-Easy/dp/1955362084
Listen to the first chapter: soundcloud.com/andy-howard-788712319
Learn more at AndyHoward.com!
Have you ever considered the spaces we retreat to when the world becomes too much? Join me today as I discuss some of the hidden corners of our minds where we often stash away our mental health battles.
We will explore the masks we wear, the distractions we employ, and the ways we deny our struggles. Although we expose the dark reality of avoidance, denial, and substance abuse as desperate attempts to escape pain, it's not all doom and gloom. Alongside these harsh truths is a beacon of hope, a strategy to overcome. We'll walk through recognizing the red flags, seeking help, and the ultimate hiding place – where faith, resilience, and hope reside.
Follow on Instagram & Facebook: @AndyBHoward
Buy the book on Amazon: www.amazon.com/When-Words-Dont-Come-Easy/dp/1955362084
Listen to the first chapter: soundcloud.com/andy-howard-788712319
Learn more at AndyHoward.com!
Before we start today, I do want to just pause and say a prayer or let people know that we are praying or standing with Israel and the vicious attacks that came from just pure hatred and pure evil and any innocent lives that were lost on either side of the actual innocent. But there is a lot of just pure hatred and evil that comes just straight from the pit of hell that really caused so much of this, and we know it's part of the plan. That's. The crazy thing is that this is all part of the plan, that everything is lining up. Everything's already been mentioned and it's playing out just as it was talked about thousands and thousands of years ago in the Word of God, in the Bible. It is coming to fruition, but my prayers go out to everyone involved. Today, on the episode, we are going to be talking a little bit about some of the things I've faced with mental health issues and some of the places I tried to hide behind some of the characteristics, I guess, is the word I'm looking for, and maybe there'll be a red flag for you, maybe not, I don't know, but in the end, stick around, because there is one ultimate hiding place to hide all your mental health battles, but you have to stick around to the end to find it All that more happening right after this.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to the when Words Don't Come Easy podcast. I am Andy Howard and it is so good to have you. I hope that if this is your first time you've ever joined the podcast, I hope it won't be your last. This is a podcast about hope. It's a podcast about hope. It's a place where, each week, I'm going to do my best to encourage and to share hope for really a busted up and broken world. We're all in need of a little hope, and, whether it's through having a guest or through me flying solo on a topic, I wanted to leave you better than you were before you found this podcast, and today is one of those episodes.
Speaker 1:Today is an episode where I am going to do my best to describe some hiding places that you turn to when facing depression or mental health issues. I will never pretend to be the expert or the know it all on the subject, but I'm just a dude who is grinding out with you guys. I have overcome depression, but it's something that I think I will probably continue with for the rest of my life, and now I have just checks in place to keep me grounded and keep me going forward, and now I'm aware of those things that start to creep in before I fall off the edge, I guess for lack of better words. And so today I wanted to try to point out some hiding places for those who may be suffering from mental health issues, and I hope this makes sense to you. But we're going to bring them to light and maybe some of you guys are facing some of these things and it will help you. But in the end, I do want to show you the ultimate hiding place of where you can take your mental health and your depression, anxiety, fear, whatever it may be.
Speaker 1:So the first hiding place I would mention is denial denial. In fact, for me, even I didn't think I had depression yet per se. I thought, I thought I was having a few bad days, and what's wild is how those bad days lead to bad weeks, lead to bad months and before long my wife is telling me I don't, you don't seem the same, you don't seem happy. You need help, you need to seek, you need to seek a counselor, you need to find someone you can talk to. And it started with denial. You may minimize it, you may even deny its existence of mental health problems or anxiety. You may tell everybody everything is fine, just be careful, and then maybe everything is. And I don't want to be one to make something bigger than it is. Like if you have a hang now and all the something happens, we're all going to have bad days, right? In fact, that's a promise from the word that we will face hard times, but we just have somebody to take them to through Jesus. But at the same time, if you are in need, you should never not get help because you're denying that it exists. You're ignoring that it exists. Just if you had a broken arm, if you had a old muscle, if you are, if you were a diabetic and needed help from a doctor, you would not avoid these things.
Speaker 1:For whatever reason, mental health has that stigma where, where it's like a badge of honor to not admit it and it's like I'm good, I don't need any help, and that comes from the now. And I think that's like the oldest, the oldest trick in the book. The enemy wants to devour you. He wants to still kill and destroy you. That's, that's in the word right. But God came, jesus came, that we can have life and have it to the fullest, have the most abundant life, and you can't get that unless you get help. And so it's. It's the oldest trick in the book because even like the animals, right? Even the predator wants to separate and devour the prey. And so don't fall for it that you have to do this on your own, that you have to do it alone. Seek help, get over the denial part. Seek counsel, seek help, and I did kind of get off my notes there and jumped into the circuit when.
Speaker 1:But it's avoidance, and that's where I was talking about. You know, the predator and the prey, but avoidance you will find many people will avoid situations, they'll avoid other people, they'll avoid activities that trigger these mental health issues, they will isolate themselves from potential stressors, and that could very well be a sign of mental health issues If you find yourself avoiding things, if you find yourself sitting alone, if it's easier for you to stay alone than with people. We were, we were built for community and I think 2020, and I'm not getting political here, just but hear me out 2020 brought this to light all the isolations right, when, when, when the world was shut down and you saw the numbers, you saw the the depression numbers skyrocket. You saw the anxiety numbers skyrocket and there was a lot of chaos out there. There was a lot of stuff where we didn't know what was happening. There was a lot of other reasons as well, but I believe a huge part in that was the avoidance we were. We were alone, we did not have community. It was not the same.
Speaker 1:Third one would be substance abuse, and many people who are dealing with mental health would turn to drugs or alcohol as a means of self self medication. All in all, I'm trying just to numb or escape the pain. Maybe it's caused by trauma, maybe it's caused by real life issues of a job situation or lack thereof, a job needing a job. Whatever the source of pain, you try to block that out by turning to a substance abuse, and I would even take it a step further and say even just an addiction. An addiction because that could be anything. I have never done drugs or alcohol to this, you know, to this day, praise God, and I'm not judging, that's not any form of judgment or a look at me but pornography, even turning to food, comfort food, just as bad. Whatever addiction you turn to to numb the pain or serve as a distraction could be a sign that you're struggling with mental health.
Speaker 1:The fourth one I would bring up goes along the same line. You distraction in general. You're looking for distractions, dissolution that constantly keeps you busy or preoccupied so that you don't have time to think about whatever it is that you're struggling with. Hobbies, excessive use of technology to avoid self-reflection. Sometimes you see a work of holics like wow, those guys. They're dedicated to their craft, they work so hard. And then you realize that they're working so hard to avoid dealing with whatever pain or issue that they are struggling with. It's easier and even if you're successful, it makes it even harder, I think because you find confidence in I am so good in this area of my life that I can dive into this. I can hide here and not have to face the mental health issue that I'm dealing with. I don't have to face the depression here because I am really good here, I get complimented here, and so it makes me want to work harder and longer here. Wow.
Speaker 1:Emotional suppression Sometimes we suppress or ignore our emotions altogether, or fusing to acknowledge or express true feelings. It's so much easier. I know there were so many times when I was at the height of my depression that I didn't tell anybody. It was so much easier just for me to try to carry it by myself. I didn't want to bug my wife with it. First of all I thought she was like this hero because she was handling it like a champ. I didn't want to feel weak. I didn't want her to see the man of the house who can't even deal with our daughter or the situation that was going on. It was hard. Not only did I not tell her, I didn't tell my pastor, I didn't seek counsel. I didn't even want to talk about my feelings. Every time there was a chance and I felt that nudge, I got to tell somebody, I got to seek help. It was easier for me to try to carry it and it was actually the worst thing for me. I tried to suppress, I tried to do whatever I could, some of these other things we mentioned above, to just not face it, just suppress the feelings.
Speaker 1:Procrastination you may delay seeking help or addressing your mental health needs. Putting off therapy, putting off medication or whatever it is. That's a sign that you need help, bro. You hide in procrastination. The last one I would say that jumps out to me is masking. That was very good at this. You put on a brave face, you put on a smile, you hide behind a title Everything is just fine.
Speaker 1:Have you ever noticed that the word fine, when we ask somebody, hey, how are you doing? What's up, man, how's it going? We don't really expect an answer. We're not equipped to hear an answer. We're hoping for the word fine, I'm fine. Then we leave and my encouragement would be to listen. I mean people who are struggling with mental health, with anxiety. They leave clues, they tell you if we listen, and even the way they say fine Most times, if we double down on them and say, hey, are you really? It's not a bad thing. Yeah, oh, yeah, I'm great. I'm great it's because so many times, the first time we ask someone how they're doing, the first answer is not the true answer. So take that with you next time you're greeting somebody. The first answer I'm fine is is just the token answer that they're programmed to say. But the second answer hey, how are you doing? The second answer is how they really are feeling, because they are not used to getting asked twice. And if they say no, no man, I'm good and you know. But I mentioned in the beginning, there's.
Speaker 1:There's another place where you can hide your mental health, where you can hide your, where you can hide your depression, your anxiety, your fears, whatever it is. It all has a name, so it has to bow at the feet of Jesus. You can hide in Jesus, and the Bible mentions the concepts of hiding in Jesus or God in several passages, and I just wanted to read a few of these. There's actually four of them, four verses, and I want you to commit these to memory and hold on to them. Print them, write them on a, on a napkin somewhere. Print them and put it up in your cubicle, in your office or at your work, on your desk, in your truck, your vehicle, on your mirror in your bathroom. So first thing you see every morning is this. Maybe even save it as a screensaver on your phone, whatever it takes to be reminded of all these places where you can hide in Jesus or God.
Speaker 1:And first one is Psalms 327. It says you are my hiding place. You will protect me from trouble. It's around me with songs of deliverance. You are my hiding place, jesus is your hiding place when you're hurting, when you're struggling. And hide with Jesus, hide in him. He knows anyway, right. So one of those we mentioned earlier we're scared to tell people about. You can trust Jesus, you can hide in him. He already knows you, he created you, he watches you, he sees you, so why not bring it to him when you're struggling?
Speaker 1:Colossians 3-3 says for you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. I love that. See, when we surrender, when we give our heart to Jesus, our man dies and we live in Christ. The old man dies and we are born in new creation and we are alive in Jesus. So we can hide in Him. We can take all of our fears, of all our old self, and give them to Jesus.
Speaker 1:The next verse is Psalms 91.1. I want you to hold on to this. Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Talk about hiding. We can hide in the shelter of God, in the Most High. We can take our problems, we can take our burdens, we can take all of them and when we give them to Him, we rest in His shadow, in the shadow of the Almighty. He cares for you, he cares for you so much and he wants to carry this stuff. You were never intended to hold on to it in the first place. So surrender to Him, give it to Him. And then Isaiah 32, 2 is very similar with shelter. It says Each one will be like a shelter from the wind and a refuge from the storm, like streams of water in the desert, in the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land. These verses, they convey the ideal that when we trust in God and have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, we find refuge, protection. With Jesus Christ, we find peace by holding and by hiding in Him, by hiding in Him, by surrender.
Speaker 1:You know, when I was a kid and I'd get scared, I would hide under the blanket, hide, fully under the blanket. I don't know why. I thought that was going to take care of. Whatever the boogeyman was right, I would completely submerge. Hide under the blanket. That's what we're doing Hide in Jesus, hide in the Most High. You don't have to carry this anymore.
Speaker 1:I hope some of this has helped. If it's caused more confusion, feel free to message me, because I would love to clarify anything that I may have thrown at you in this short podcast. But know that you are loved, that you have a God who created you exactly as you are, and he hasn't forgotten you and he cares more than you can ever comprehend, and there are people that are surrounding you who love you more than you will ever believe. So don't fall for the lie that no one cares and they're not going to help you, that you have to carry this on your own because you don't. That's what I had struggled with for so long, and I would hide in so many other things that didn't bring true peace. It only kicked the can down the road till I finally had to deal with it later. Know you're loved and know there's hope for you, so never give up. God bless everybody.
Speaker 1:Hey, if you're in need of help today, first of all, if you are wanting to harm or hurt yourself, dial 988. That is a confidential support to people in suicidal crisis or mental health related distress. Simply dial 988, or you can text 988 and you will be connected to someone who can help you with the lifeline network Again completely confidential. So there used to be a long number for it, a long hotline, suicidal hotline number. Now it's just 988. So remember that number.
Speaker 1:Most of all, though, I hope this episode has been helpful for you to find some, maybe some red flags that may lead to depression or anxiety or even mental health disorders, and if you're related to some of those, don't wait till you get to a desperate situation. Seek help. Today you can just check with your local doctors where I started, told them a few of my symptoms, told them a few of the things that my wife had pointed out in me, and he said let's take this simple test. And we did, and you know what. He provided a great therapist in the area who lined up with my values Christian godly, christian therapist who helped me so much. And it was that easy and it was the beginning of the road to my recovery.
Speaker 1:So there's nothing wrong with asking for help. That's what I want to encourage you to do. Don't wait till it's too late to ask for help. Don't wait till it's too late. In fact, I just want to pray for you, a simple prayer, and then we'll end this outro. Or I ask you, I ask you right now just to comfort the listener, comfort whoever it is that may stumble on this podcast maybe somebody sent it to them because they care for them and because they love them and ask right now that you're overwhelming peace. Just surround them with your comfort and with your love and you let them know that they are important, that they were created for a reason and a purpose, and you're not done with them yet. You have such a huge plan for their lives. That only happens when we submit to you and we surrender to you, and I ask, if they don't know you, or let them come to know you Right away. Provide someone in their life that can lead them to you and help them with whatever they're facing, whatever stress, whatever led to this depression. Help them with that. In Jesus' name, amen, just know there's always hope. There is always hope.
Speaker 1:If you'd like to find out more or hear more of my story, you can do that from the book. When Words Don't Come Easy, you can find that at AndyHowardcom or if I'm ever in your area, come see me. I'd love to connect with you Again. That's at AndyHowardcom where I show the places I'll be speaking in the near future and I just want to be a blessing to you. I hope this has been a blessing to you. If it has, please send it to somebody that God has laid on your heart. Send it to somebody who needs a little bit of hope in their life. Thank you, guys for joining. I'll see you next time. Thanks so much for tuning in. If this episode helped you in any way, it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review and share it with somebody else. Thanks so much. See you next time.